So as soon as charges were filed in my case and the indictments came down, I was contacted by the witness / victims advocate at the county attorney’s office. After an awkward first meeting, she has been my lifeline in manuvering through system. She checks on me regularly, updates me when there are changes in the progression of the case, and answers my random text questions day or night.
About six months ago there was a big eff up on the part of the prosecution. My advocate was forced to send a letter to all the victims asking for information that was both unnecessary, and a violation of our privacy for sure. She told me at the time that she knew the damage this letter would do. That it contained unnecessary and intrusive demands.
Honestly, after all that went down, I was ready to bow out. I was worn to the bone and emotionally raw. I told myself my mission had been accomplished anyway. My biggest hope when I came forward all those years ago, was that it might help other victims find their voice. And that’s exactly what happened.
Skip ahead to last week. I got a message from my Advocate that both the county attorney and prosecutor had been replaced. As usual, she downplayed her role, but I know she worked hard to make sure things were resolved for all of us victims.
After my conversation with the prosecutor I had a million questions swirling around in my head. One text at a time, my Advocate answered them all. The answers weren’t always reassuring, but at least I know what to expect.
The perpetrator will be separated from me at all times at the courthouse and during lunch. As far as lodging, they will try to make sure we are not at the same location, but can’t promise anything. After hours, like supper time and such, I’m on my own.
My biggest fear right now, in all of this, is physically seeing him. Sometimes I feel like it could literally kill me. Is it possible that I may encounter him outside the trial? Yes. Will my Advocate be right by my side to keep me protected during proceedings? Yes. And that’s just going to have to be good enough.
Quote for today: