Jury selection for the trial begins in less than 9 weeks. I’ve been thinking about the prospective jurors a lot over the last few days. After all, these folks will decide the fate of  the monster who perpetrated these crimes.

The new prosecutor has said several times, regarding the trial, that the jury will make or break this case.  She also keeps telling me, even if they come back with a not guilty verdict that doesn’t mean they don’t believe me. 

Most days I feel good about having a jury weigh the evidence and make their decision based on that evidence. This morning it feels a lot more personal.

On days like this where I feel extra vulnerable, I try lots of different things to distract myself til the feeling passes. Today I just can’t shake it. The idea of sitting up there and telling the story of the most devastatingly painful violation of my life makes me sick. 

Many people know the gist of my story, but very few know details. For better or worse, come trial, a whole lot more folks will know things I’d rather they didn’t. Details have already been shared in the press that felt like a punch in the gut.

Right now though, I’m trying to focus on those 12 people. Hoping they will be the best selections. Even now, though, He is lurking in the back of my mind. Face to face after 32 years… But that’s the subject for a blog I’m not yet ready to write.

That’s all I’ve got for now, hoping something will brighten this dark and rainy morning…

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